Questions of development, 1936. Ursula Wise reassures her correspondent that children can develop well despite an adverse start in life , given the right conditions.

November 25th, 1936


Questions of Development

Two readers this week ask Ursula Wise’s opinion on the standard of mental development of the children in their care.


“Somerset” writes, “I should be most grateful for your advice about my little girl, aged two years five months, who is quick and intelligent and very bonny. I adopted him at three weeks old. When he was about three, I adopted baby. She was then eight and a-half months. She was of good birth but had been very neglected. She came to me with bronchitis and running ears, and altogether in a very bad state. It seems that she had been with her brother until three months, then put in a home, where she got ill and was sent to a hospital. Therefore, when she came to me, she was no more intelligent than a very young infant, and very small and pathetic. My little son caught her infection from the ears and had mastoid, and I had to leave baby while I went to a nursing home with him. Also owing to Pat’s illness I could not give her a lot of attention for some time after his return. Then I changed maids. Now one or two people keep worrying me by suggesting that baby isn’t normal. Will you be so good as to let me know whether I should consult anyone else or wait until she has developed more? I most emphatically think she is quite normal but very backward owing to ill health, so much neglect, and so many changes of the person who mothered her. She has not yet been able to rely on any one person for love and has no feeling of stability. She could not sit up until one year and did not walk until two years and two months, although she crawled rapidly. Now at two years five months she walks forwards and backwards and runs. When she goes backwards, she says, ‘Back, back,’ as my little boy does when I back the car. She has the wee-est feet, only taking size two now, which made her very unsteady at first. She waves and says, ‘Bye-bye,’ and blows kisses. A few days ago, we were going out in the car and I said, ‘Run and say good-bye to Daddy,’ and she ran in and kissed him. I also said one day, ‘Tell brother dinner is ready,’ and she ran to the bottom of the stairs and said, ‘Brubber tea.’ If we put on the cloths, she immediately gets out spoons and forks and puts them in a row on the table, and in the mornings when toast is being made, she says, ‘Crust’ to the maid and waits for one. She also gives us sweets but always helps herself first! These things convince me she is quite intelligent. She also says, ‘Good girl’ if she uses her pot or wets her knickers. She can’t seem to distinguish, and she is often dirty also. But now she holds out Teddy and says, ‘Wee-wee,’ so I hope she will begin to understand. When Pat does anything, she tries to copy him, and gets in and out of his car and says, ‘Wide’ when she wants to ride the pony. But apart from saying, ‘Going in car’ she never puts words together. She keeps asking that question, so one day in exasperation I said, ‘No’ very firmly. Next day when I said, ‘Going in car’ she said, ‘No’ exactly as I had answered the night before. She looks very frail but is still teething. She is cutting the last now and owing to this her ears have been running on and off all the time. I think they really are better now, and I feel if that clears up and the teeth are through, she should get stronger and then she would develop quicker. She has one eye that is a little crooked which makes her look less intelligent, but I took her to an eye specialist who thought it would right itself when she was stronger. Will you be so kind as to tell me what to do- whether to give her a chance to pick up after teething is through, or whether to consult anyone? Is there any specific treatment she could have, or is the best treatment to build her body and love and encourage her? Is it bad for Pat to have her so backward? They are very fond of each other. I shall be so anxious to hear from you as I am rather disturbed by the tales people tell me of backward children and abnormal children. But I want the truth, however much it hurts. Both kiddies are legally adopted. I ought to add that baby cries for me when I am away, and if I return and she is quite happy she will immediately cry bitterly and say, “Mummie’ and cling to me. She also loves Brother dearly and days, ‘Deor’ to him, and ‘Deor dog,’ to the pup, and she calls “Coop-coop’ when the fowls are fed, and calls wasps ‘Mummie bees.’ She also knows the sounds that animals make.”

Certainly, there does not seem to be any reason why you should fear your little daughter’s being abnormal or so backward in her development that she will cause you distress. No child who has had such adverse circumstances as she had can realise the full potentialities of her natural gifts until her physical health has been completely built up and she has had years of security and comfort. There are many cases on record of children whose development has been retarded by such adverse circumstances who have nevertheless reached a normal level later on, with really good care. I don’t think it will do the little boy any harm to have her with him. They are not close together in age so that he will not depend on her for stimulus in his own development, but probably feel brotherly affection and tenderness.

On the other hand, it might comfort you against your own doubts if you had first-hand advice upon her development, and it would not do the slightest harm, would it? There might be special ways in which you could help her more, and it would certainly be a help if you had more security in your own judgements against your critical friends. If you do feel you would like to have expert opinion in her psychological development, please let me know, and I will suggest someone to you whose advice would be really helpful.