The need for exercise, 1930 - Ursula Wise reminds us that “some form of destructive action must be provided for vigorous children."

January 8, 1930 in The Nursery World 

The need for exercise

“D.L." (Anerley) asks: “My little boy is four years old next March, and for some months he has been very difficult to manage, and as he gets still more difficult as the weeks go by, I feel that probably I am not treating him the best way. So, would you please tell me the names of one or two inexpensive books on general training? Why is he so destructive? I’m sure he hasn’t a breakable toy left or a picture -book whole. I have followed various suggestions. I give him newspapers to do as he likes with and he has his own scissors, for one thing.”

            Many children, especially boys, do tend to become very destructive about this age. There are several things to remember in trying to deal with it. First of all, it is an undoubted fact that a certain amount of destructiveness is quite normal and healthy in these years. The quick, explosive action of knocking things down or breaking them is so much easier to the untrained muscles of the young child. It is a definite relief to him, faced as he is with all the complicated business of learning control of his body and of his social behaviour. Some form of destructive action must be provided for vigorous children. it is an error to imagine that they can all the time be making the effort of handling things in just the right way or of building things up. The problem thus becomes one of finding useful ways of letting them enjoy the pleasures of destruction. The scissors and newspapers which you have already given to your boy are certainly excellent, but not enough for him. They would not be enough in themselves for any healthy growing young child, for the simple reason that they use only the smaller muscles of the fingers and wrists. And what children need so much in these years is plenty of the larger swinging movements of arm and shoulder and hip. If they don’t have enough of these, children will always show signs of nervous tension and be restless and difficult. 

            I would therefore strongly suggest that you look into this, and see whether your boy is getting enough free exercise of his limbs and larger joints in throwing, running, jumping and climbing. Has he got room to do these things? If not in your garden, perhaps there is a common or open space nearby where he could play with other children in these ways. Then again, perhaps you could think of things for him to do that would satisfy his destructive impulses and yet be useful. For instance, digging in the garden with a trowel or strong spade is very satisfactory; or helping to break up lumps of coal for the fire, or pieces of old crockery for putting at the bottom of plant pots; sawing logs, or learning to knock nails into lumps of wood. 

            The nails should be broad-headed and the hammer a suitable size and strong. Toy hammers and spades are useless for destructive children. I do hope you will try some of these suggestions, and let me know how the boy gets on.